LESSON THREE EXERCISE

 Lesson Three is about the ideal interpersonal you.

Our identities are our own individual, core values, beliefs and characteristics (i.e, emotions, thoughts and behaviors) that make up who we are. The identities we've been given or assigned to us however, may not look the same. In fact, these can be so engrained in us, they're hard to sift out and sort through. "What's mine," vs. "What's been given or assigned to me?" are very different questions. We can get lost in external messaging (and internal interpreting) and forget that we are a Self, regardless of what we've been told, shown, or ways we've been treated.

 There are a number of questions in exercise three aimed at getting clear on what we've been given and what we'd like to take as our own. Using the questions provided as prompts to go inward, think about the above - what's yours vs. what's been given to you.Then, think about what no longer serves the Self. Complete this independent of your partner.

Conscious Partnering:

Once you've independently worked through Exercise #3, you'll be taking your completed prompts with you to answer questions aligned with your marriage. You can write the answers down on the worksheet, journal about them however you'd like, and then share together what you've discovered, with the following intention in mind:

"I tell you these things not to get you to build me up or tell me I’m wrong about my self-doubts or fears. I know some of them might sound really different or surprising to you. What I ask of you is that you only listen. It’s vulnerable for me to share these." "For me, your support looks more like ______, ______, and ______ and I could really use your support as I talk through these things with you.These are very vulnerable truths that we share here."

 Asking your partner for specific ways that he or she can support you as you practice vulnerability is vitally important for this exercise and for the ones moving forward through Create a Conscious Marriage™.

As partners, our spouses are sharing with us some of their deepest, darkest hidden beliefs about themselves that they may have never shared with us before.

These are gold nuggets in a relationship and the things that will set your marriage apart from being roommates toward conscious, deeply connected partners.

When we’re allowed into the hearts of our spouses we can begin to truly honor them by holding space for them, something we’re about to dig into in Module Two.