MODULE THREE INTRODUCTION

MODULE THREE: GETTING CURIOUS

As a couples therapist, one of the questions I'm asked the most is "shouldn't my partner just know what I need?" My short answer: Yes. My long answer: No.

For starters, believe it or not, men and women are very different when it comes to the ways we think and what we do. Men have the ability to compartmentalize, problem-solve and deeply tackle one thing at a time, closing the door to other noises, nuances and life categories they’re not presently in. 

Women, on the other hand, are gifted with multitasking, relationship-building vs. problem-solving and are more likely to be able to identify and verbally articulate what we feel. While these descriptions obviously don’t work for everyone, the fact is, different sexes really are different in more than a couple of ways.

There's also context, which we can never forget. Things like circumstance, personality, empathy and how well we pay attention to one another all play an enormous role in how we listen and - connect to our partners.

While we are often waiting for our partners’ delicate response to something we're eagerly seeking a response to, the likelihood there's gonna be a miss is unfortunately high. He or she may not have the slightest idea what you need, what you're looking for, or sometimes even, what you're talking about.

So back to the short answer: If the stars are aligned, and all the boxes have been checked, and we're not in a Mercury Retrograde, then yes, of course he or she should know. But if not, don’t assume they’re going to.

In this module, we’ll learn about how to build up our curiosity to get connected to one another. We'll be talking about empathy, grace and our own, as well as our partner’s, uniquely human experience.